Control, Kale and TMI...DAY 1 FitRx

Day1

So, I'm here.  My mom and sister in law brought me this morning and dropped me off right around 10 am.  I have to say my stomach was in my throat as I walked in the door.  I didn't sleep great last night thinking about this today and honestly I was a bit overwhelmed at the thought of how much control was going to be taken away.  I know I can be a bit "in charge" but I never thought of myself as controlling until I saw the meal schedule and schedule of classes and groups.  Then I felt totally like I was about to be out of control of my day.  Not that it is a bad thing but it is just a bit overwhelming.

I met with the counselor, the nurse, the nurse practitioner, psychiatrist and the intake person.  A lot of the questions are exactly what one would expect but a lot more food related than I have ever thought about.  For instance, "What has been your life experience with food?"  I really had never thought about that.  My life experience with food-I pretty much eat it if it is there.  If it is chips and dip I eat a lot......sweets are OK but give me salty any day!  I went through my sleep habits, my thoughts on food, and how I think about food, tragic things that have happened in my life.  Talked a lot about my depression and how that affects my daily routine.  Cried a little talking about when my Dad died.  I felt especially vulnerable today. I haven't felt like that in a long time.  Telling someone your whole life history who you barely know is hard even for ME who has a TMI problem!

All the staff was great and very warm.  I went to two groups today with the other clients/patients/people here and they were pleasant.  I wouldn't say warm or friendly but pleasant. I didn't really connect with anyone which worries me a bit as I typically connect pretty quickly.  In a way I felt a little out of place-as most folks have been here at least a week already. And, some of the folks you could tell had a lot going on issues wise and there was some hangry going on and some complaining. I mean I get it-life change is hard-I may be there soon.  I have a tendency to be very cynical as most of you know who have read my blog for any period of time.  Also no one really introduced me so I just was kind of sitting there sometimes and maybe they were wondering about me.....anyway----it is just day 1!  I will make it through!

One of the groups was about choices we make in life and one was a cooking group.  The first one felt odd as I did not really know the people I was in group with BUT we did not have to talk much and I got called out to see the NP right before it was my turn to speak---that was a close one! At the second group, I tried toasted Kale with Ranch seasoning and it was actually pretty dang good.  I tried a spinach, chia seed, banana, agave smoothie and it was NOT GOOD.  The lunch and dinner were good and healthy and I had plenty and there are two snacks so no starvation going on here thank goodness!  My mom was afraid there would only be celery!

I didn't work out today. This is scary to say outloud but I was a bit disappointed as I really wanted to get in there and get moving BUT--I got an EKG and blood work done so clearly my safety is important.  That was a relief!  I do hope to get moving more tomorrow which it sounds like I will as I meet with the fitness trainer.  We also go to an organic farm and go out to eat for lunch tomorrow as they try to teach us how to eat out in a more healthy way.

So I have books to read and sleep to get before the early morning breakfast (which I hear is egg whites and plain greek yogurt :(.  Anyway-tired and heading to bed as I need a good sleep for day 2.