3 good things and poop and pee!

Day 7

I just had a massage-part of the program is massages every couple weeks. It was nice and much needed for my calves that were on the verge of exploding from pain!  Anyway-feeling quite relaxed and really was a good day.  What made it a good day you may ask?  Well a couple things:

1.  I have exercised twice a day for 6 days straight and lived to tell about it.  For me, that is a big deal. I don't think I have continually exercised that many days straight my whole life. And, for the record, the workouts are not easy.  They consist of rowing and doing laps on stairs and medicine ball slams and today I got to hit a big tire with a sledge hammer (one of my favorites so far!!)  I sweat like a pig and usually have to talk to myself and close my eyes to get through the last 5 reps of anything!!!

2.  The dietitian I am working with (who happens to be incredible BTW) pulled me out of class today to have one of our sessions and I was able to totally open up (and cry.....NOT comfortable).  Who would have thought that a dietitian would help me to cry and work out some issues?  We talked about some things surrounding eating that I have never put together and I said some things out loud that I have never said out loud....like-I do have binging behaviors, just probably never had the time to hone the craft---AND--I had some bad messages about eating growing up that I had never attached to my current eating patterns--AND--I have some really awful self image problems that I have never really dealt with before now.  I honestly can never remember not feeling fat-my whole life.  I'll have to show pictures of me as a kid. I was definitely very typical kid size but the messages I got from a horrible bully was that I was a big fatso and as a 6 year old kid-I believed it.  I have lived with that for way too long.  

3. In one of our groups today, I learned about what my definition of success is and how it can be so different from your families of origin. Contentment is what I personally long for in life. To appreciate who I am and where I am and what I am doing--- but I often feel that I am always in the quest for that and have never really found it.  I want to find that contentment, in myself and with my family and be OK everyday with where I am.

Definitely a journey.  Smiled and laughed a lot today. Oh- we also talked about poop and pee--I don't care how old you are, that always brings on lots of laughter!!!  So, I would challenge everyone who reads this to do some thinking about what success means to you and whether or not you are doing everything you can every day to make it there..............