The good, the bad, and the speedo!

So this could be a long one.....hang in there. This was a weird week. I got my speedo swimming suit in the mail. I am enjoying swimming but realized the skirted suits I have become accustomed to wearing tend to go up over your head during lap swimming.  So I got an exercise suit....then had this great idea that I would be proud of me in my suit and encourage others to be ok in a swimsuit and share their swimsuit pic. All this went on in my head BEFORE I put on the suit. As you can see from the picture above, there were certainly doubts as I put it on.  I would not recommend pulling this picture any closer to zoom in, as I have realized some parts of me look a little scary! But then I realized I'm ok with that. I'm not gonna ever look like a swimsuit model most likely- although I can always dream!! My butt and hips are a bit larger than the average bear even when I'm healthy.  My shoulders are broader, my neck is shorter....I could go on and on. Everyone could.....but I have to take comfort in the fact that there is only one me. I know, it's kindergarten but I often forget what an awesome and powerful thing that is. Me....the only one who thinks and feels and laughs and cries at things in the exact way. The way my mind lives on the fences of issues, my heart struggles with good and bad and faith and politics. The way I hate cups with lids, leave cabinet doors open, don't pay quite enough attention to road signs, speak up even when folks don't want to hear, root for the underdog, try to make things right, take on others feelings and I could go on and on again. It has taken me a long time to realize that these things are ok and make me who I am BUT I so often feel bad about the real me....the inside and out of me. Sooooo....that pic is the beginning of being OK with me just the way I am.....and you can tell from my face....it is a journey! Ha!