Grouchy and out of time

So it's been awhile. This past week has been so full.  I swear I didn't have time for anything. I was working in the day, then picked up kids, homework and activities, dinner, bedtime, and pass out tired.  I didn't exercise because I did not have time during the week. Weekend was a different story......I had time but chose to do other things. Tried to get back on the wagon tonight- got to the gym ready to swim and forgot there was a class going on that was only half done and I didn't even bring tennis shoes to do anything else!  Ahhhhhhh I am having a week!!

I have to keep moving forward even when I am falling back a bit. I have lost 17 pounds. I'm making better choices at least 80% of the time. I am moving more but I am having trouble working the exercise into my life....any suggestions out there?  Just so you know the facts....I have 3 kids..6,8 and 22 and all are at home. I get the kids ready in am and get them to school, then go straight to work, then pick up after school. Then homework, snack, after school activities on mon, tues, wed, Friday and sometimes Thursday. Dinner by 730 when hubby gets home. Bedtime at 830. I'm tired writing it! Don't suggest early mornings. Me and mornings prior to 7am don't get along!!!!! Other mo snake this work....how???? What am I missing????

Help. Me.

Depression and Spinning....in no particular order.

Depression.  I have it. I deal with it.  I hate it some days. Some days I think it makes me think deeper and have more empathy for others. Most days though, I hate it.  I take medication. I have for over 20 years.  Most days I'm ok with that. Most days I get through and feel pretty normal emotionally.  But last week was hard for me.  Sometimes life just hits you. And, when you have depression like me, it can be something seemingly insignificant that throws you into a tailspin. It was my son being made fun of and struggling at school. It makes me feel helpless, puts me back in a mind frame of where I was at that age and struggles I had, makes me mad and makes me sad. I feel like I'm in a dark spot and my soul hurts and I just can't shake it off.  I've learned the cognitive tricks, I know it will go away, but for those few days of emptiness inside, of irritation and agitation and racing thoughts and sleepless nights, I struggle.  I didn't exercise but once last week.  The mind and body work together and last week I felt like they were against me.  But, I didn't give in and I am still journeying.  But, depression sucks and it sucked the life out of me just enough to make me not write and not enjoy life.......and this week I'm baaaaack.

Spinning. I tried it.  I almost died. I hate it.  Who thought that spinning was a good idea???  Hey let's stick your feet in stirrups (that you cant get out of) and then make a tiny little seat (that makes it feel like its going up your who-ha) and then blare loud music (with racy lyrics nonetheless) and scream at the bicyclists to go faster and push harder (this lady made boot camp seem fun).  Hey-that sounds like a great idea......let's call it spinning.  I bet the instructors get paid extra for anyone who can't walk after the class. I am quite certain my who-ha will not be sitting for some time.  My legs are still vibrating and I seriously think it could take some time for the who-ha to recover.  But, I made it the whole hour and at least I didn't stop. That is what it is all about anyway. It's not whether or not something is hard, it is continuing even when it IS hard and even when it hurts; in life and in spinning.